Cheez to the Whiz provided this for us. This guy really doesn't like bottles being thrown at his head. He got all serious on that kids ass. Although, I am pretty sure no one outside of a state prison has ever threatened anyone by saying 'I will butt-fuck you in front of all your friends' and been taken seriously.

New Wii Fit Add-ons

Jo Garcia Wii Fit
by Machochip

I don't have a Wii, but I want one. Noodleboy has the Wii fit and I am sure he will appreciate this video, even though he does not look as hot while using. I am pretty sure he wears panties and a tank-top when he plays though, doesn't everyone? I think Nintendo requires it in the instructions.

Great Moments in Awkward

This is a great match up because I hate annoying media members just as much as I hate arrogant atheletes. But either way this is a very uncomfortable encounter and makes me smile cuz I love awkward!

O Soccer...

Here is the link to the Girls of the Euro 2008 Soccer championship. It's the big European 'football' tournament....blah blah here are the hot chicks.

Ha Ha Canada, We Rock

I love this video. Him eating a hot dog with a gun and an American flag made me so proud. Sadly, it actually made everyone south of New Jersey seriously proud for real. Maybe Canada did win this one after all.

#1 Reason To Watch.....Sports

Ok I love sports anyway, no surprise but Erin Andrews can really help things along. Especially if you get the Wed night game on ESPN turns out to be a blowout. You just see her for a second in the clip below but damn does she look hot. And you also get to here the awkward cancer treatment/hitting on her lines. I couldn't think of a weirder way to compliment a lady, especially on live TV during a baseball game. I take notes in case this stituation comes up in my life.

Sorry Dad

So the other day it was about 125 degrees out, Cheez Whiz and I attempted to play some tennis but we almost died and retreated to the safety of the AC and weekend movies on TV. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1 and 2 were on. It never dawned on me until that day that our parents all must have thought we were fucking retards. Cheez Whiz pointed out he can only imagine what our parents would have thought sitting through this crap. The above scene is what really set this thought process off but it is true. These movies are part of my childhood as much my family or elementary school was. I loved the movies then and can say I love them now, never did I look at them as ridiculous as I might look at children's movies now, they were just normal and we loved them. But an adult in the early 90's must have thought their kids were on acid or something. Who thinks this stuff up and who enjoys it. I am surprised my dad didn't take me to a therapist after seeing this movie. I can't imagine what got him through sitting in a theatre throught this. Every 5 minutes he must have been looking over at me while I was enchanted by the turtles on the screen, and rolled his eyes, shook his head, checked his watch and contemplated leaving me in theatre. Not only are there ridiculous people in animal costumes fighting, there is cheesey comedy too! So I am sorry Dad. Thanks for taking me to all these movies and not leaving me in the parking lot to be raised by vagrants and hobos. Especially after the final scene with Vanilla Ice (I am most sorry about this) :

You Still Suck Prince

So the story goes: Prince covered Radiohead's 'Creep' at Coachella this year. Many fans recorded it and posted it on youtube, as seen above. Prince had his lawyers make youtube take it down, because I guess Prince is too good for fans? To which Thom Yorke said, "Well, tell him to unblock it. It's our fucking song." The cover of the song sucks but I have posted to let Prince know he sucks. Why on earth he thinks he is better than anyone is beyond me. Thom Yorke just increases his coolness by doing this and showing he is among the few famous people who 'gets it', as I like to say. Which also reminds of this video from Dave Chappelle's show which needs to come back. I could listen to Charlie Murphy read me the phone book, I am sure it would be funny. I never the basis of this skit but in reality Prince was an amazing basketball player, even at 5'2. He won the Minnesota state championship in high school. Go figure.

#1 Reason to watch....The 2008 French Open

Women's tennis is usually worth watching anytime because there is a good chance whoever is playing is hot. Unless the Williams sisters are doing battle to see who looks more like a cross between a horse and a man. Anyway, Ana Ivanovic is superb. And she is good too unline the other Ana who used to play tennis. She is the new #1 in the world and in the finals of the French Open. She has that cute/hot thing I love going for her and she plays tennis which I have been playing more lately. And I am awesome! Well not so much but you get the picture. This Serbian beauty makes it sexy to wear visors and be sweaty. Finally me and millions of American men can feel sexy!

Report: Mariah Carey to replace Phil Hughes in starting rotation

This video makes me think I am watching one of those crazy MXC Japanese game shows. Then again I think every clip of Japanese TV makes me think that, just like no matter what's on Hot 97, commercial, music, talk, news...it all sounds like a rap song to me because everything for some reason has a beat. JT Rocket Fuel on the video submission.

The Brendan Leonard Show

I was just reminded of this today. It was possibly my all time favorite show. A few summers ago, 2002 I believe, ABC family started a late afternoon block of programing for the whole summer headed by 'The Brendan Leonard Show'. Not many people saw or remember this show. There was a new episode every weekday and I got to see all of them since this was a summer inbetween sophmore and junior year of college, I worked in the mall at night and really had no serious concerns in life at the time. The show was picked up by ABC from a local cable show Brendan and his friends used to do and they gave them free reign to make a show for the summer while they were all home from college. It is amazing. They do stupid sketches set to music of cool unknown bands. The humor is smart and sarcastic and I wish they would give these guys a show again. Or if any idiots out there are interested in making their own show like this with me, let me know, I'm in! Two videos are below, they are long but good. More videos here and here.

Step Brothers

This is the new Step Brothers trailer, now with cursing! From the two trailers I have seen, I think this could be the funniest movie ever. Maybe that's a little extreme to say but eh. whatever. It does seem like Reiley and Ferrel were just set loose and aloud to do whatever they want for this one in hopes to top all their other movies.'He better not get in my face, cuz i'll drop that mother fucker'

What all the kids are doing....Baby Jumping!

This is thanks to Noodle Boy. I don't really know what to say here but I am sure it makes sense to someone somewhere. Here is the link with explanation. I guess these people in Spain look at our traditions in the US as just as crazy. Like putting babies in cribs to protect them rather then jumping over them in Village People gear to ward away spirits. Its all the same in the end, right?

Overheard at the Gym quote of the day:

Tall, ugly, awkward curly blonde haired girl #1 to tall, ugly, awkward curly blonde haired girl #2: '....ya i think I am going to switch it up, I am going to try going on Yaz'

Thanks for the info babe! Watch out dudes of the world, she is ready to get awkward all over your ass and not get pregnant.

Bruce Bowen is a Cock Munch

Ya that's right I said cock munch. I can not explain how much hate I have for this man. The rest of the NBA feels the same way. He has no basketball skill but has made it as a dirty, intense defender who always tries to hurt other players. He always slides a leg under players when they are shooting in hopes they will come down and sprain an ankle. He is just an ass and is one of the things that sucks about basketball now, along with all the damn Europeans flopping like this is the World Cup. The Spurs are just a dirty team, as we saw last year when Nash got thrown into the scorer's table by Robert Horry. My favorite story about how the league hates Bowen as much as me comes from Bill Simmons website, a story posted by one of his readers:

Speaking of Bowen, Mike in New York passed this story along: "I was in Vegas for a bachelor party last August during the week of the U.S. vs. Puerto Rico exhibition game. We all stayed at the Wynn where almost every basketball player was staying and learned three things: Dwyane Wade really takes care of his dad financially; Clyde Drexler is the coolest guy to play the minimum at the $25 blackjack table; nobody likes Bruce Bowen. Late one night, almost every blackjack table had multiple current or retired NBA players at them and huge crowds to go along with them. That is, except for the table with Bruce Bowen and only Bruce Bowen playing at it. All Bruce's teammates on the USA team were his regular NBA opponents and it was clear that none of them wanted anything to do with him."


As more evidence, another Bruce Bowen being a Cock Munch video:

What the crap?

You dont't have to watch all of this, just enough to be confused.



Letterman had Ali Lohan on 2 nights ago. I didn't know there was an ALi Lohan, but as you can see from the video, I think she is the new thing I fear the most in the world. She's 14?? She looks and sounds like she's 45. Those 14 years must have been rough. I thought this was a prank for the first 5 minutes of the interview. I thought there is no Ali Lohan and that Letterman was doing a fake celebrity sibiling thing ala Conan O'Brien. If you were doing this as a joke, it would make sense to say Lindsay Lohan has a 14 year old sister who looks 45, has a raspy voice and is probably cracked out. But no, she is a real person and Oh my God, she wants to ba a singer! Didn't see that coming. I am sure her future is bright, how could it not be. Oddly enough, last night Letterman had Kristen Davis on promoting her obnoxious Sex and the City movie and she looks just like Ali Lohan. At this rate Lohan is going to look like an old work boot by the time she is old enought to vote.

I think I like soccer...

#1 Reason to watch......Attack of the Show

Attack of the Show? Ya it's a real thing. It's on G4 (aso a real thing) and might be hard to find on the remote but it is well worth it. It is a funny show that fulfills my love of nerd stuff and it has the Munn-ster, Olivia Munn. She is the perfect fit for a nerd show. Funny, sexy and dorky. I love her and I am only 25% nerd (my grandpa was from Nerd). She is one of the guys and you may have noticed her in the baby fight video post before. I have to dedicate this one to JT Rocket Fuel, as he suggested her today and also let me know that things have heated up in their pretend relationship that Olivia doesn't know about. It seems they are going pretend steady and working on pretend enganged; upgrade!

Baby Fight!

This was sent by JT Rocket Fuel. It proves the point that if babies or bears doing anything they don't normally do, it is hilarious.

#1 Reason to watch.....Waiting

This is a really good movie. Start to finish, its funny, true to life and a movie that really gets 'it'. I worked retail for way too long and this movie captures that world perfectly. I would love this movie without the latest love of my life in it but she makes it better. Kaitlin Doubleday is her name, she hasn't been in too many things but she's gorgeous and her and I are playing the old game of 'We're dating and she doesn't know it'. I always win. If picking out really cute/hot chicks who aren't super famous and have small roles in TV/Movies was a job...then....well... I'd have a job.

This was the one that started it all

Syracuse's Jim Boeheim and Alf's Max Wright. Cheez Whiz and I like to do the Alf's dad voice anytime we watch a 'Cuse game. They always said the relationship Gerry McNamara and Boeheim had was much the same as the relationship between Max Wright and Alf.



Side note in all this, google Alf's dad and you get a bunch of hits about a homosexual drug orgy Max Wright had back in 2005. I'm just sayin'.

Do you want to know the terrifying truth, or do you want to see me sock a few dingers?

So as per usual, I got suckered into being late for something because I stuck around watching a game that in reality I knew the outcome of but a little hope was still there. Maybe they will hit the big 3 and get the stop on defense. No. Didn't happen but I stayed until the clock read 0.00 and left way to late for, guess what, the Yankee game in which it took forever to park and they got shalakced. But I did get the opportunity to sit in the upper deck next to the largest man to ever wear pants. Dude was too wide for the seat and was just resting himself on the arm rests while parts of him spilled over the side of the seat. I hate the Celtics. I guess I am stuck rooting for a Lakers/Celtics final since it is for the 'good' of the league and all the assholes who have neglected basketball since Jordan left will pay attention in the future. Maybe if Chris Paul takes somes steriods and starts hitting dingers on the ball field, America will give him more respect. Well that got intense, huh?

How is Paul Pierce good? He plays like the best 50 year old dude at the Y. But he some how lulls defenders to sleep, scores, and defends despite barely really moving. And where the hell did Ray Allen go. He disappeared this series, that could be a problem in the future. He came in the league in a jam packed draft with amazing players. He's the same age as Iverson, 32, a year younger than Nash, and only 2 years older than Kobe and Jermaine O'Neal, but he seems to be almost done with his career and treated as such. Cavs Supporting cast is a bunch of clowns by the way. Lebron must sceam into a pillow by himself to release the frustration and anger of having to work with that cast.

And I am killing it with trashing a team and then watching them win that night. I am the ultimate jinx, the opposite has been true every time so far. That's why I have no comments on tonights game till tomorrow. And also why I want to take this opportunity to say I hope Hillary Clinton doesn't spontaneously combust. I so don't want that.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead

So I am sitting here watching 'Bobby', the Emilio Estevez directed movie about RFK's murder. I figured anyone involved in 'Mighty Ducks' would only bring the best for me. Movie is ok, nothing great but I stumbled upon this young lady and fell in love. I can't say she is the #1 reason to watch Bobby, she is only in the movie for about a second and there are many other things she has been in that she gets more screen time. But that few seconds she was on screen was all I needed. She re-defines the cute/hot category of girl that I strive to meet in life. I don't even need to post pictures of her dressed like a slut, her face is all you need. I want to give her face money from my wallet to thank it for just being.

Extra Mustard

Thanks to JT Rocket Fuel for this link. Its a site from SI.com and has some great stuff, such as the videos below. One is of one of the rarest things in sports, a triple play, and the other exploits stupid people. What more do you need?

Asdrubal Cabrera Turns Unassisted Triple Play
by Machochip

Local news mishaps

This is thanks to Cheez Whiz. I love when these people fuck up, it makes it worth while to watch the news. Anything you find, send it on over to me and I can post and rant about, thats the kind of community I am looking to build here; ranting, its what seperates us from the animals. Cheez Whiz, thanks, keep on keeping on.

That's Right!

Talk about an exclamation point. I admit I am and have been for a while, a Lebron fan. If you love basketball, you want this guy to succeed and you want to watch him do great things. But the damn Celtics. As great a story as they have been and the storied franchise they are, I still can't love them. This isn't like the old teams, this team was created over night and here they are bound for a title. And its Boston. I would love to see Lebron take them down and watch KG, Pierce and the rest high five each other on their way to the bar to watch the next round of the playoffs. Plus, this team has 0 goofey white dudes starting for them and their bench goofey white dudes suck. That 80's team was the definition of goofey and white. When Adam Morrison is starting for the Celtics, then I will be a fan, but until then I will be hating everytime I see these jerkoffs throw around a hard foul on Lebron just because they are behind. And then there is Rajon Rondo. He looks like some sort of lemur with a tape worm. The other PG Cassell not exactly a looker either. Some sort of alien or something. And since the other team is using their 5 guys to cover KG, Allen and Pierce, dopes like Rondo, Posey and Perkins start thinking they are good. Attention retards, I would be pretty awesome with no one guarding me and 5 defenders worried about 3 of the best players in the league. Rondo has become smug and arrogant and you can see it in his moves on the court. If they don't win it all, KG will be eating him for lunch, so I would watch out if I were him. KG will sacrifice his first born for a title, Rondo you are expendable.

You should be listening.....RCM 400

Just discovered this little gem out of New York, Rob's Chicken and the Mint 400. The music is good, the lyrics are bonkers but it comes together as something new and special in a day and age of crappy pop music. They also have sweet photos that may or may not suggest years of acid abuse or that the 2 boys in the above photo, top left, are secretly dating.

Spurs/Hornets

Ok so after my little I hate the Spurs rant and how awesome Chris Paul is, the Spurs tied the series 2-2. I am starting to become like the SI or Madden curse and am not going to be making arrogant America takes a 7 game nap! But to kick off the whole point out who athletes look like, by the way its the best part of watching sports, we have Manu Ginobli, whom I personally despise. As much as I hate him on the court, I love him for his work as Balki Bartokomous on Perfect Strangers. He really never should have given it up, his jumper is no where near as good as his dance of joy.

#1 Reason to....Rent Transformer and plot to kill Brian Austin Green

Yes, Megan Fox. She is 'the' girl right now and 'the' girl is engaged to 'the' Brian Austin Green. I don't know either, he's like 40 by now and he's fucking Brian Austin Green, maybe the 'I'm Brian Austin Green' line would have worked on Megan's mom or much older sister, but Megan's like 21, she doesn't care about 90210. More power to him, check out Transformers and the sure to be hundreds of future movies she will be in becsause she is hot and everyone is catching on. I am going to go cry into my oatmeal, talk to you soon.

America kicks all y'all asses!!!!

Ok is it just me or does anyone else think these types of people are ridiculous but no one openly attacks them. We have all sorts of discrimination in this country, why aren't we focusing on discriminating against those that actually deserve it. Guys like this should have there own water fountains and section of the bus. Enough with the hatred toward the usual victims, the jews, gays and blacks. We all need to band together for the common cause of humiliating the partially retarted Italians scientists call guidos. How can anyone watch this video and not want to round these dopes up and gas them. Ok harsh, maybe just round them up and through them on a remote island. (side note: I am pretty sure that is what they are doing with Staten Island now that I think about. I bet Guiliani had his hands in that, he is a magical wizard.) Anyway, I am begging more people out there to point and laugh when you see gentleman like this, acting like this. Together we can beat this thing! I am going to make an armband or something for this cause. I encourage anyone to send in pictures, videos or websites containing funny pictures of these types of idiots (I smell a spin off blog! Also, looking to spin off 2 other concepts, photobombing as seen on my nephews site and pictures of athletes that look like other people/things, anyone looking to contibute is welcome, funny commentary a must) On a related topic, this is a great site that makes fun of douche bags and the douche bag pictures they post all over the web. Your welcome.

Charles Burgundy

This is thank to my buddy Rob and its why we love Sir Charles...

I Hate You Tim Duncan...and other NBA Playoff Thoughts

The fact that someone captured this video is hilarious. Duncan can't even drink gatorade without making that 'Tim Duncan face' at the gatorade. I think he wanted the ref to call a foul on the gatorade for not being the flavor he wanted. I guess gatorade doesn't come in bland and uneventful. Tim Duncan the master of emotionless emotions, thank god Chris Paul and the Hornets, or should i just say Chris Paul, is destroying you and up 2-0. David Stern and lovers of basketball everywhere can't wait to see your boring, flopping, complaining Spurs go home and guys like Chris Paul bring this league back to the good times. Thanks for nothing except the worst stretch of basketball the league has ever seen.

Speaking of the good old days, watch the intro to MJ's return on NBC and the old NBA on NBC theme (written by the John Tesh by the way) Tell me the hair doesn't stand up on the back of your neck. The old days had the great storylines and NBC always put together an awesome video about it before the games and then started the broadcast off with that song, please NBC teach ESPN and TNT how to do this, the league needs you. Middle class white audiences need you!

Rivers is a cool dude

This is from a solo album Rivers Cuomo released in December 07. It is a compilation of his own stuff from 1992 to the present. Everything on it is great, especially this song. Here is the link to the official video he made. I could not embed it in the blog but it has the story behind it before the song, interesting stuff, never knew it about him.

Things I never knew till now

I stumbled across the following info from old reliable, Wikipedia,So it appears that the Yankees had some real wahoos on the staff in the 70's. Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich, long time friends and Yankee pitchers, decided to switch wives and families with one another, for good. You can read the details in the entry above but seriously, this stuff happened? What mind set do people get to that makes them think this is normal and will work out. They say you learn something new everyday, even if it's just weird.

Just because it's Thursday and this guys in a good mood

This was my favorite show when I was a kid. It anchored a strong T-NBC lineup of shows like Saved by the Bell the new class, California Dreams and City Guys. It has it all, bad basketball highlights from a gym half the size of a regular court, no defense from the opposing team, a girl on the team and Reggie Theus. Yes after coaching the Hang Time gang to a few titles the Sacramento Kings caught interest and offered him their head coaching spot.

#1 Reason to watch....well actually not watch but love Australia and not be gay

Miranda Kerr; Victoria's Secret model; amazingly cute; amazingly hot; and enough to make me move to kangaroo country to become a boomerang salesman/kooala breeder (that's what they do down there right?)

Best song ever...

Ok i don't know if that's true but it is my favorite song right now, I heard it for the first time recently thanks to a friend of mine and it couldn't better wrap my life up in 4 and half minutes...

Current president, of course I know that guys name

I don't know anything. I used to know things, like facts, stats, events, etc. Now.....nothing. I just google it. These days we don't need to know anything because everything is a click away. Everything I spent the majority of my previous years doing was learning and 'knowing' things. Every single thing I stressed about learning then, I can look up in minutes now. Open Door Policy? Chloroplasts? Homonyms? Addition? Who needs 'em all the time. I can just go get them as needed, like when at a social gathering everybody wants to start talking about the periodic table. But what has also happened as a result of this is a that I forget everything now. Movies, news, music, even everyday personal things and memories. The bad part is I can't look to wikipedia to remember that dude at works name or what was so funny on Saturday night, but I can find out in seconds which Baldwin brother is in that bad tv movie you saw. So I guess this leaves me wondering why we need to 'learn' or memorize things anymore in school. I know we need basics, but can't we worry about the rest as needed and start worrying about more valuable real life stuff in school. Like how to merge on to the highway or say thank you when someone holds a door for you; you know the things that for all I know, no one around here ever heard of. And since we don't need to remember all this stuff, shouldn't we be able to pack our brains with other stuff? I don't know if the brain works like a garage but logically you would figure it makes sense. Or maybe we are just getting dumber and are doomed to be worse off as people because of technology or maybe.....huh?.....what?....I gotta go figure out the name of that Neil Diamond song and how to multiply fractions...

I want a Jennifer Aniston chick

Now you are probably saying to yourself, hold up there captain toolbag, we all want that. But that is not where I am going with this. I feel 'hot' girls can be broken up into 2 categories, Jennifer Aniston chicks and Angelina Jolie chicks. Now we all want a hot girl ideally so thats why I didn't say all girls can be categorized. Anyway, from many girls I have met, there are girls who are Angelina Jolie chicks, they think Angelina Jolie is the greeatest thing ever. She can do no wrong, and while guys like her, I would want nothing to do with her and everything she says or does makes it worse for me. They want her lips, boobs, hair, tatoos, life, etc. Not for me friends. It is weird how the majority of girls I have met that love Jolie, also have the same qualities I don't like in girls. Now Jennifer Aniston girls are not neccessarily in love with Aniston, but they are more a polar opposite to Jolie. They are cute, fun and have a down to earth personality. This is where its at, unfortunately there is another type of girl that I believe almost all girls have adapted to, Sarah Jessica Parker. Ask any guy, he hates Sarah Jessica Parker. He thinks shes lame, completely annoying and looks like a foot, but women love her and its all that stupid shows fault. This third category is why men and women really have trouble getting along, I swear, it all makes sense, I read it....in a book!

Moments that remind me why I watch sports

This was the greatest basketball I have ever watched. A six game series in which the Warriors ran all over the leagues best team, the Mavs, resulting in this game 6 romp. Everyone in the building was standing the entire series, all in their yellow 'We Believe' shirts and you got plenty of good angry Mark Cuban faces. I couldn't have been happier watching this series even though it kept me up really late everynight for the west coast broadcasts. I had a very unproductive work week that week, but it was worth it to renew my faith in the NBA and sports in general. That's why I watch. And here is a little video of Baron Davis in the second round of these playoffs reminding Andrei Kirilenko he is much, much better than him.

My new favorite sport?

I don't know if this actually considered a sport but I did see it the Food Network and I think it has it all. I love cheese, so thats enough for me right there, but no there is much more including plenty of drunkeness and idiots flying down a hill at unsafe speeds. Just watch as these crazy Scotish folk flop in unimaginable ways to the finish line, and for the most part, remain unharmed. There are some serious injuries every year at the event held in Gloucestershire, Scotland, but it is amazing there are not more. The next one is coming in 40 days, by the way, to all interested in flying to Scotland and are not on good terms with your limbs. My favorite part of it all was when they interviewed a crowd member who showed everyone the common practice of the fans pouring beer in their eyes and screaming. Unfortunately, no video on that one.

Rouges Gallery

As someone who was born without the ability to grow a beard, I can appreciate a good beard. And this companies site has got plenty of them. Rogues Gallery is an up and coming clothing company that pumps out super sweet New Enlgand, Waspy, prep type clothes, with a very pirate/nautical feel. Click on the 41 Wharf St link on the main page to see pictures of the opening party of their first store, in none other that Maine. The pictures are filled with dudes who are not subject to the no beard disease like I am(but may be actual pirates), and I can not hide my jealousy.

#1 Reason to watch......Gossip Girl

So for this one there were going to two reasons to watch Gossip Girl until this guy did some IMDB research and found out that the other lovely young lady on this program happens to have been born in 1993, making her not 20-something like she looks, meaning the blog might be called i dont wanna get raped in the ass in prison anymore...so here we are with Blake Lively, the amazingly beautiful star whom I like to play a little game with called 'we're married and you don't know it'. But seriously she has soemthing about her and you can't watch the show without falling in love with her, just try.

This is why there is art...

Found this picture of a painting of Jesus circumsizing a dragon with a sword. We all know Jesus is one awesome dude and one of the greatest action heroes of all time, but this raises his level of badassness to 'wearing Chuck Norris as a hat'.

From Russia with love

Ok not Russia, but close enough, Serbia, or not...Darko is our generations Sam Bowie, but this video just adds fuel to the fire. As good as Detroit is, they passed on 3 Franchise guys, and a possible 4th late bloomer in David West, for Darko; I am sure they could make room for one of these guys and that this will haunt Detroit in the future. Hell I would take any of the guys on this list over Darko, just look at the players in the 2003 draft and what they are doing for their teams, it was probably the best draft of all time. I didn't realize Matt Millen picked for the Pistons too. Hell I would rather have Joey Harrington and Mike Williams playing foward.

#1 reason to watch....Greek

Now I know she is lonelygrl15 and most famous for that crap but her current gig is on the ABC Family show Greek. Predictable plot but she is gorgeous and unfortunately not used enough on the show. They really should write her in more. I watch it now and she is only in about 2 minutes per episode, do the math ABC Family!

Why I'm crazy

It's time for a little bit about me. No folks, I'm not just hilarious laughs and angry rants, there's a person in here too, not just a Frank Oz midget pushing buttons and making noises. This is just the first in what should be many stories to understand why I can be a little crazy/neurotic in my daily life and how I think about things. The other day I borrowed my parents car so I could drop mine off for an inspection. The inspection would take only a few hours but from the time I got to my parents house till the time I left, they both told me about 8 times each that I needed to fill the gas tank immediately on the car I was borrowing because it was 'dangerously low on gas'. Now keep in mind I am only taking the car for 4 hours and I don't have a job, I am expecting it to be below E on the gauge. I love my parents, they treat me like gold, but they can be a little worried about things. And when I say a little I mean alot, about everything. They are much older than most parents for people my age, I was born much later in their life, 19 years after my closest brother, I believe the scientists have a term for this occurrence in nature, called a 'mistake'. But they love this mistake like it was an 'on purpose'. Stop me if the scientific stuff is too much. So I go to leave and say good bye, I again get the gas warning, I start the car and the fuel gauge is a quarter of the way above the half way mark. This means I would have to probably be driving from time I leave till the time I come back to burn all the gas off. I guess my parents assumed I was going to take one of my crazy unemployed mid-week solo trips to Delaware and back while I waited for my car and that doing so would be dangerous due to the gas situation. Needless to say I went to the mall, 10 minutes away, and came back forgetting to put gas in. The fuel guage didn't even budge but I think that sums alot about me up and growing up with my parents. I've become a very forgetful over-thinker.

The good people at Skittles found some acid

Green Team

When he says the line 'I have a murder boner', that has to be the funniest thing I have heard in a while. Honestly, its hard not to get a murder boner sometimes, I used to get them in high school physics class for no reason, I wasn't even thinking about murder....

Another reason why I hate living here

Don't get me wrong, I love New York and the whole area, but 90% of the people suck. They are these type of people: So I am driving home and a car passes me and pulls up to the light on my left and I see on the back of his car the Italian flag Yankee decal pictured here. I love the Yankess and have always been a fan, but come on, could you be any more lame tough guy. Hey asshole, are you Italian or just you Hyundai Santa Fe. Putz.

Animals hate us

These have to be 2 of my favorite websites. It goes to show that pets probably don't actually like being pets and possibly hate jews.



Cats that look like Hitler



Disapproving Rabbits

#1 reason to watch....30 Rock

Katrina Bowden, 20, from Jersey and well just watch and you will now understand why I watch 30 rock...

Patrick Duffy always gave me advise to live by....

This is the voicemail I get on my phone today, from one of my brothers, who I haven't seen or spoken to since the last family event we had months ago (not for any reason, we just aren't big talkers):

"Hey, it's Joe. Mom tells me you are unemployed. I need someone to help me pick up a new TV and re-arrange furniture, I can't lift it myself so I figured you'd have time to help. Give me a call."



So yeah......anyway I', watching Step by Step reruns this morning, as I have been every morning and this dawned on me; there are 11 main cast memebers, Susan Summers, Patrick Duffy, as mom and dad, they each have 3 kids and there is jt's best friend and that redheaded lady who works at the salon attached to the garage (which we never see again in the later episodes?) So that makes 10, the writers created 10 characters, 8 of them family members and none of them were interesting or cool enought to carry things, so then they went ahead and created Cody, the Encino Man looking cousin who lives in his van in the driveway. The writers made 10 crappy cast members that didn't cut it and then figured they needed to squeeze #11, who would really seal the deal, they couldn't have made Cody one of the 6 kids? I know I might be thinking about this all wrong, but what do I know, I don't have a job.

Side note: I have gotten some shit from a reader about not using caps in my post, even though I layed the ground rules out about expectations when we started! Normally I would karate chop this d-bags stupid little head off and smash his indie music cd's, but upon further research and running the numbers, I realize the complainer makes up 50% of my readers so, here are the caps. Its all about the numbers, gotta keep the majority happy.

I am right now listening to a conference call from this outsourcing company that my company that laid me off hired for all of us so we can get another job. This companies service is to give tips on resumes, job hunting, and just about everything associated with the job search, except on key thing; A JOB. Its just stating the obvious about the job hunt process and has no contacts to any sort of company. This company gets paid to provide this service by companies and has for 40 years according to its website, and actually provides nothing of substance. Maybe if they had job contacts it would make sense but they got nothing, its like talking to a high school guidence counselour about your future...why would you ask someone who's never gotten anywhere, how to get somewhere? Well this is has been fun.

me and christopher walken take on verizon

just when you thought the site was a one hit wonder like that day you ate good and went to the gym after your new years resolution, its back! todays adventure takes us to the verizon store where i got to meet patrick. now my sole purpose of the trip was to get a new phone because mine is falling apart, but fate stepped in and fates name is patrick. after having the sales person, named keith who much resembled walt frazier, help me get the phone and try to sell me on every upgrade/add-on possible, I was passed over to the phone pick-up area. by the way verizon is horribly run and ass-backwards in how they do anything. sit in there for 15 minutes and you will see at least 7 customers get fed up with one of the many employees. its amazing the company can sustain life, let alone the employees. so back to patrick, who resembled a shorter christopher walken with a mustache, but just as odd. patrick and i and got to enjoy about 45 minutes together of him awkwardly talking about my phone, right down to the plastic bags that the parts in the box come in; saying "they don't make bags like this anymore, very strong plastic." it was a great lesson in plastic bags, but after waiting for tech support to switch my phone book over for a half hour, i was getting impatient. finally another woman had to go speed things up for me and patrick acted as thought he didn't even know me. i left the store a little hurt, but certainly better for meeting patrick. thank you verizon, and thank you for using strong plastic bags to protect you products, america can sleep a little better.

on the way home i figured i would stop by target because why stop the madness so soon, i can just catch up on sleep tomorrow after wearing myself down today. i picked up the following items: drain-o, dish soap and plastic pitcher for drinks. at this point i looked at the items and realized, whoever rings me up will think i am going to mix drain-o and dish soap in a plastic pitcher for some sort of sick pleasure. so before i went to the register i stopped by the movie section, and really topped things off by getting a copy of the shoot em up new release 'revolver', to ensure people know their is something wrong with me. side note: the movie is great and the drain-o/soap is delicious

jobs are for suckers

welcome all, this is the begining of what is sure to be the biggest waste of time and brain cells in your daily life. do not expect proper grammer, spelling, punctuation or any sort of sensible form to this site; just prepare to be amazed by laughter!!, or not, whatever works for you. i have no theme or structure in mind here, basically i just got down-sized a week ago from my job in the subprime mortgage industry and i have never been happier. so with all this time on my hands i have decided to share my days of unemployment with the world, inbetween my 8 daily episodes of 'everybody loves raymond'; that's just a good show.