Just because it's Thursday and this guys in a good mood

This was my favorite show when I was a kid. It anchored a strong T-NBC lineup of shows like Saved by the Bell the new class, California Dreams and City Guys. It has it all, bad basketball highlights from a gym half the size of a regular court, no defense from the opposing team, a girl on the team and Reggie Theus. Yes after coaching the Hang Time gang to a few titles the Sacramento Kings caught interest and offered him their head coaching spot.

#1 Reason to watch....well actually not watch but love Australia and not be gay

Miranda Kerr; Victoria's Secret model; amazingly cute; amazingly hot; and enough to make me move to kangaroo country to become a boomerang salesman/kooala breeder (that's what they do down there right?)

Best song ever...

Ok i don't know if that's true but it is my favorite song right now, I heard it for the first time recently thanks to a friend of mine and it couldn't better wrap my life up in 4 and half minutes...

Current president, of course I know that guys name

I don't know anything. I used to know things, like facts, stats, events, etc. Now.....nothing. I just google it. These days we don't need to know anything because everything is a click away. Everything I spent the majority of my previous years doing was learning and 'knowing' things. Every single thing I stressed about learning then, I can look up in minutes now. Open Door Policy? Chloroplasts? Homonyms? Addition? Who needs 'em all the time. I can just go get them as needed, like when at a social gathering everybody wants to start talking about the periodic table. But what has also happened as a result of this is a that I forget everything now. Movies, news, music, even everyday personal things and memories. The bad part is I can't look to wikipedia to remember that dude at works name or what was so funny on Saturday night, but I can find out in seconds which Baldwin brother is in that bad tv movie you saw. So I guess this leaves me wondering why we need to 'learn' or memorize things anymore in school. I know we need basics, but can't we worry about the rest as needed and start worrying about more valuable real life stuff in school. Like how to merge on to the highway or say thank you when someone holds a door for you; you know the things that for all I know, no one around here ever heard of. And since we don't need to remember all this stuff, shouldn't we be able to pack our brains with other stuff? I don't know if the brain works like a garage but logically you would figure it makes sense. Or maybe we are just getting dumber and are doomed to be worse off as people because of technology or maybe.....huh?.....what?....I gotta go figure out the name of that Neil Diamond song and how to multiply fractions...

I want a Jennifer Aniston chick

Now you are probably saying to yourself, hold up there captain toolbag, we all want that. But that is not where I am going with this. I feel 'hot' girls can be broken up into 2 categories, Jennifer Aniston chicks and Angelina Jolie chicks. Now we all want a hot girl ideally so thats why I didn't say all girls can be categorized. Anyway, from many girls I have met, there are girls who are Angelina Jolie chicks, they think Angelina Jolie is the greeatest thing ever. She can do no wrong, and while guys like her, I would want nothing to do with her and everything she says or does makes it worse for me. They want her lips, boobs, hair, tatoos, life, etc. Not for me friends. It is weird how the majority of girls I have met that love Jolie, also have the same qualities I don't like in girls. Now Jennifer Aniston girls are not neccessarily in love with Aniston, but they are more a polar opposite to Jolie. They are cute, fun and have a down to earth personality. This is where its at, unfortunately there is another type of girl that I believe almost all girls have adapted to, Sarah Jessica Parker. Ask any guy, he hates Sarah Jessica Parker. He thinks shes lame, completely annoying and looks like a foot, but women love her and its all that stupid shows fault. This third category is why men and women really have trouble getting along, I swear, it all makes sense, I read it....in a book!

Moments that remind me why I watch sports

This was the greatest basketball I have ever watched. A six game series in which the Warriors ran all over the leagues best team, the Mavs, resulting in this game 6 romp. Everyone in the building was standing the entire series, all in their yellow 'We Believe' shirts and you got plenty of good angry Mark Cuban faces. I couldn't have been happier watching this series even though it kept me up really late everynight for the west coast broadcasts. I had a very unproductive work week that week, but it was worth it to renew my faith in the NBA and sports in general. That's why I watch. And here is a little video of Baron Davis in the second round of these playoffs reminding Andrei Kirilenko he is much, much better than him.

My new favorite sport?

I don't know if this actually considered a sport but I did see it the Food Network and I think it has it all. I love cheese, so thats enough for me right there, but no there is much more including plenty of drunkeness and idiots flying down a hill at unsafe speeds. Just watch as these crazy Scotish folk flop in unimaginable ways to the finish line, and for the most part, remain unharmed. There are some serious injuries every year at the event held in Gloucestershire, Scotland, but it is amazing there are not more. The next one is coming in 40 days, by the way, to all interested in flying to Scotland and are not on good terms with your limbs. My favorite part of it all was when they interviewed a crowd member who showed everyone the common practice of the fans pouring beer in their eyes and screaming. Unfortunately, no video on that one.

Rouges Gallery

As someone who was born without the ability to grow a beard, I can appreciate a good beard. And this companies site has got plenty of them. Rogues Gallery is an up and coming clothing company that pumps out super sweet New Enlgand, Waspy, prep type clothes, with a very pirate/nautical feel. Click on the 41 Wharf St link on the main page to see pictures of the opening party of their first store, in none other that Maine. The pictures are filled with dudes who are not subject to the no beard disease like I am(but may be actual pirates), and I can not hide my jealousy.

#1 Reason to watch......Gossip Girl

So for this one there were going to two reasons to watch Gossip Girl until this guy did some IMDB research and found out that the other lovely young lady on this program happens to have been born in 1993, making her not 20-something like she looks, meaning the blog might be called i dont wanna get raped in the ass in prison anymore...so here we are with Blake Lively, the amazingly beautiful star whom I like to play a little game with called 'we're married and you don't know it'. But seriously she has soemthing about her and you can't watch the show without falling in love with her, just try.

This is why there is art...

Found this picture of a painting of Jesus circumsizing a dragon with a sword. We all know Jesus is one awesome dude and one of the greatest action heroes of all time, but this raises his level of badassness to 'wearing Chuck Norris as a hat'.

From Russia with love

Ok not Russia, but close enough, Serbia, or not...Darko is our generations Sam Bowie, but this video just adds fuel to the fire. As good as Detroit is, they passed on 3 Franchise guys, and a possible 4th late bloomer in David West, for Darko; I am sure they could make room for one of these guys and that this will haunt Detroit in the future. Hell I would take any of the guys on this list over Darko, just look at the players in the 2003 draft and what they are doing for their teams, it was probably the best draft of all time. I didn't realize Matt Millen picked for the Pistons too. Hell I would rather have Joey Harrington and Mike Williams playing foward.

#1 reason to watch....Greek

Now I know she is lonelygrl15 and most famous for that crap but her current gig is on the ABC Family show Greek. Predictable plot but she is gorgeous and unfortunately not used enough on the show. They really should write her in more. I watch it now and she is only in about 2 minutes per episode, do the math ABC Family!

Why I'm crazy

It's time for a little bit about me. No folks, I'm not just hilarious laughs and angry rants, there's a person in here too, not just a Frank Oz midget pushing buttons and making noises. This is just the first in what should be many stories to understand why I can be a little crazy/neurotic in my daily life and how I think about things. The other day I borrowed my parents car so I could drop mine off for an inspection. The inspection would take only a few hours but from the time I got to my parents house till the time I left, they both told me about 8 times each that I needed to fill the gas tank immediately on the car I was borrowing because it was 'dangerously low on gas'. Now keep in mind I am only taking the car for 4 hours and I don't have a job, I am expecting it to be below E on the gauge. I love my parents, they treat me like gold, but they can be a little worried about things. And when I say a little I mean alot, about everything. They are much older than most parents for people my age, I was born much later in their life, 19 years after my closest brother, I believe the scientists have a term for this occurrence in nature, called a 'mistake'. But they love this mistake like it was an 'on purpose'. Stop me if the scientific stuff is too much. So I go to leave and say good bye, I again get the gas warning, I start the car and the fuel gauge is a quarter of the way above the half way mark. This means I would have to probably be driving from time I leave till the time I come back to burn all the gas off. I guess my parents assumed I was going to take one of my crazy unemployed mid-week solo trips to Delaware and back while I waited for my car and that doing so would be dangerous due to the gas situation. Needless to say I went to the mall, 10 minutes away, and came back forgetting to put gas in. The fuel guage didn't even budge but I think that sums alot about me up and growing up with my parents. I've become a very forgetful over-thinker.

The good people at Skittles found some acid

Green Team

When he says the line 'I have a murder boner', that has to be the funniest thing I have heard in a while. Honestly, its hard not to get a murder boner sometimes, I used to get them in high school physics class for no reason, I wasn't even thinking about murder....

Another reason why I hate living here

Don't get me wrong, I love New York and the whole area, but 90% of the people suck. They are these type of people: So I am driving home and a car passes me and pulls up to the light on my left and I see on the back of his car the Italian flag Yankee decal pictured here. I love the Yankess and have always been a fan, but come on, could you be any more lame tough guy. Hey asshole, are you Italian or just you Hyundai Santa Fe. Putz.

Animals hate us

These have to be 2 of my favorite websites. It goes to show that pets probably don't actually like being pets and possibly hate jews.



Cats that look like Hitler



Disapproving Rabbits

#1 reason to watch....30 Rock

Katrina Bowden, 20, from Jersey and well just watch and you will now understand why I watch 30 rock...

Patrick Duffy always gave me advise to live by....

This is the voicemail I get on my phone today, from one of my brothers, who I haven't seen or spoken to since the last family event we had months ago (not for any reason, we just aren't big talkers):

"Hey, it's Joe. Mom tells me you are unemployed. I need someone to help me pick up a new TV and re-arrange furniture, I can't lift it myself so I figured you'd have time to help. Give me a call."



So yeah......anyway I', watching Step by Step reruns this morning, as I have been every morning and this dawned on me; there are 11 main cast memebers, Susan Summers, Patrick Duffy, as mom and dad, they each have 3 kids and there is jt's best friend and that redheaded lady who works at the salon attached to the garage (which we never see again in the later episodes?) So that makes 10, the writers created 10 characters, 8 of them family members and none of them were interesting or cool enought to carry things, so then they went ahead and created Cody, the Encino Man looking cousin who lives in his van in the driveway. The writers made 10 crappy cast members that didn't cut it and then figured they needed to squeeze #11, who would really seal the deal, they couldn't have made Cody one of the 6 kids? I know I might be thinking about this all wrong, but what do I know, I don't have a job.

Side note: I have gotten some shit from a reader about not using caps in my post, even though I layed the ground rules out about expectations when we started! Normally I would karate chop this d-bags stupid little head off and smash his indie music cd's, but upon further research and running the numbers, I realize the complainer makes up 50% of my readers so, here are the caps. Its all about the numbers, gotta keep the majority happy.

I am right now listening to a conference call from this outsourcing company that my company that laid me off hired for all of us so we can get another job. This companies service is to give tips on resumes, job hunting, and just about everything associated with the job search, except on key thing; A JOB. Its just stating the obvious about the job hunt process and has no contacts to any sort of company. This company gets paid to provide this service by companies and has for 40 years according to its website, and actually provides nothing of substance. Maybe if they had job contacts it would make sense but they got nothing, its like talking to a high school guidence counselour about your future...why would you ask someone who's never gotten anywhere, how to get somewhere? Well this is has been fun.

me and christopher walken take on verizon

just when you thought the site was a one hit wonder like that day you ate good and went to the gym after your new years resolution, its back! todays adventure takes us to the verizon store where i got to meet patrick. now my sole purpose of the trip was to get a new phone because mine is falling apart, but fate stepped in and fates name is patrick. after having the sales person, named keith who much resembled walt frazier, help me get the phone and try to sell me on every upgrade/add-on possible, I was passed over to the phone pick-up area. by the way verizon is horribly run and ass-backwards in how they do anything. sit in there for 15 minutes and you will see at least 7 customers get fed up with one of the many employees. its amazing the company can sustain life, let alone the employees. so back to patrick, who resembled a shorter christopher walken with a mustache, but just as odd. patrick and i and got to enjoy about 45 minutes together of him awkwardly talking about my phone, right down to the plastic bags that the parts in the box come in; saying "they don't make bags like this anymore, very strong plastic." it was a great lesson in plastic bags, but after waiting for tech support to switch my phone book over for a half hour, i was getting impatient. finally another woman had to go speed things up for me and patrick acted as thought he didn't even know me. i left the store a little hurt, but certainly better for meeting patrick. thank you verizon, and thank you for using strong plastic bags to protect you products, america can sleep a little better.

on the way home i figured i would stop by target because why stop the madness so soon, i can just catch up on sleep tomorrow after wearing myself down today. i picked up the following items: drain-o, dish soap and plastic pitcher for drinks. at this point i looked at the items and realized, whoever rings me up will think i am going to mix drain-o and dish soap in a plastic pitcher for some sort of sick pleasure. so before i went to the register i stopped by the movie section, and really topped things off by getting a copy of the shoot em up new release 'revolver', to ensure people know their is something wrong with me. side note: the movie is great and the drain-o/soap is delicious

jobs are for suckers

welcome all, this is the begining of what is sure to be the biggest waste of time and brain cells in your daily life. do not expect proper grammer, spelling, punctuation or any sort of sensible form to this site; just prepare to be amazed by laughter!!, or not, whatever works for you. i have no theme or structure in mind here, basically i just got down-sized a week ago from my job in the subprime mortgage industry and i have never been happier. so with all this time on my hands i have decided to share my days of unemployment with the world, inbetween my 8 daily episodes of 'everybody loves raymond'; that's just a good show.