i don't wanna throw bowls

2008-06-17T08:57:00.001-07:00

Cheez to the Whiz provided this for us. This guy really doesn't like bottles being thrown at his head. He got all serious on that kids ass. Although, I am pretty sure no one outside of a state prison has ever threatened anyone by saying 'I will butt-fuck you in front of all your friends' and been taken seriously.

New Wii Fit Add-ons

2008-06-17T08:46:00.000-07:00

Jo Garcia Wii Fit
by Machochip

I don't have a Wii, but I want one. Noodleboy has the Wii fit and I am sure he will appreciate this video, even though he does not look as hot while using. I am pretty sure he wears panties and a tank-top when he plays though, doesn't everyone? I think Nintendo requires it in the instructions.

Great Moments in Awkward

2008-06-16T13:44:00.000-07:00

This is a great match up because I hate annoying media members just as much as I hate arrogant atheletes. But either way this is a very uncomfortable encounter and makes me smile cuz I love awkward!

O Soccer...

2008-06-12T14:18:00.000-07:00

Here is the link to the Girls of the Euro 2008 Soccer championship. It's the big European 'football' tournament....blah blah here are the hot chicks.

Ha Ha Canada, We Rock

2008-06-12T13:54:00.000-07:00

I love this video. Him eating a hot dog with a gun and an American flag made me so proud. Sadly, it actually made everyone south of New Jersey seriously proud for real. Maybe Canada did win this one after all.

#1 Reason To Watch.....Sports

2008-06-12T09:52:00.000-07:00

Ok I love sports anyway, no surprise but Erin Andrews can really help things along. Especially if you get the Wed night game on ESPN turns out to be a blowout. You just see her for a second in the clip below but damn does she look hot. And you also get to here the awkward cancer treatment/hitting on her lines. I couldn't think of a weirder way to compliment a lady, especially on live TV during a baseball game. I take notes in case this stituation comes up in my life.

Sorry Dad

2008-06-12T09:05:00.000-07:00

So the other day it was about 125 degrees out, Cheez Whiz and I attempted to play some tennis but we almost died and retreated to the safety of the AC and weekend movies on TV. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1 and 2 were on. It never dawned on me until that day that our parents all must have thought we were fucking retards. Cheez Whiz pointed out he can only imagine what our parents would have thought sitting through this crap. The above scene is what really set this thought process off but it is true. These movies are part of my childhood as much my family or elementary school was. I loved the movies then and can say I love them now, never did I look at them as ridiculous as I might look at children's movies now, they were just normal and we loved them. But an adult in the early 90's must have thought their kids were on acid or something. Who thinks this stuff up and who enjoys it. I am surprised my dad didn't take me to a therapist after seeing this movie. I can't imagine what got him through sitting in a theatre throught this. Every 5 minutes he must have been looking over at me while I was enchanted by the turtles on the screen, and rolled his eyes, shook his head, checked his watch and contemplated leaving me in theatre. Not only are there ridiculous people in animal costumes fighting, there is cheesey comedy too! So I am sorry Dad. Thanks for taking me to all these movies and not leaving me in the parking lot to be raised by vagrants and hobos. Especially after the final scene with Vanilla Ice (I am most sorry about this) :

You Still Suck Prince

2008-06-12T08:29:00.000-07:00

So the story goes: Prince covered Radiohead's 'Creep' at Coachella this year. Many fans recorded it and posted it on youtube, as seen above. Prince had his lawyers make youtube take it down, because I guess Prince is too good for fans? To which Thom Yorke said, "Well, tell him to unblock it. It's our fucking song." The cover of the song sucks but I have posted to let Prince know he sucks. Why on earth he thinks he is better than anyone is beyond me. Thom Yorke just increases his coolness by doing this and showing he is among the few famous people who 'gets it', as I like to say. Which also reminds of this video from Dave Chappelle's show which needs to come back. I could listen to Charlie Murphy read me the phone book, I am sure it would be funny. I never the basis of this skit but in reality Prince was an amazing basketball player, even at 5'2. He won the Minnesota state championship in high school. Go figure.

#1 Reason to watch....The 2008 French Open

2008-06-05T09:12:00.000-07:00

Women's tennis is usually worth watching anytime because there is a good chance whoever is playing is hot. Unless the Williams sisters are doing battle to see who looks more like a cross between a horse and a man. Anyway, Ana Ivanovic is superb. And she is good too unline the other Ana who used to play tennis. She is the new #1 in the world and in the finals of the French Open. She has that cute/hot thing I love going for her and she plays tennis which I have been playing more lately. And I am awesome! Well not so much but you get the picture. This Serbian beauty makes it sexy to wear visors and be sweaty. Finally me and millions of American men can feel sexy!

Report: Mariah Carey to replace Phil Hughes in starting rotation

2008-05-30T08:18:00.000-07:00

This video makes me think I am watching one of those crazy MXC Japanese game shows. Then again I think every clip of Japanese TV makes me think that, just like no matter what's on Hot 97, commercial, music, talk, news...it all sounds like a rap song to me because everything for some reason has a beat. JT Rocket Fuel on the video submission.

The Brendan Leonard Show

2008-05-29T07:49:00.000-07:00

I was just reminded of this today. It was possibly my all time favorite show. A few summers ago, 2002 I believe, ABC family started a late afternoon block of programing for the whole summer headed by 'The Brendan Leonard Show'. Not many people saw or remember this show. There was a new episode every weekday and I got to see all of them since this was a summer inbetween sophmore and junior year of college, I worked in the mall at night and really had no serious concerns in life at the time. The show was picked up by ABC from a local cable show Brendan and his friends used to do and they gave them free reign to make a show for the summer while they were all home from college. It is amazing. They do stupid sketches set to music of cool unknown bands. The humor is smart and sarcastic and I wish they would give these guys a show again. Or if any idiots out there are interested in making their own show like this with me, let me know, I'm in! Two videos are below, they are long but good. More videos here and here.

Step Brothers

2008-05-28T07:38:00.000-07:00

This is the new Step Brothers trailer, now with cursing! From the two trailers I have seen, I think this could be the funniest movie ever. Maybe that's a little extreme to say but eh. whatever. It does seem like Reiley and Ferrel were just set loose and aloud to do whatever they want for this one in hopes to top all their other movies.'He better not get in my face, cuz i'll drop that mother fucker'

What all the kids are doing....Baby Jumping!

2008-05-27T14:44:00.000-07:00

This is thanks to Noodle Boy. I don't really know what to say here but I am sure it makes sense to someone somewhere. Here is the link with explanation. I guess these people in Spain look at our traditions in the US as just as crazy. Like putting babies in cribs to protect them rather then jumping over them in Village People gear to ward away spirits. Its all the same in the end, right?

Overheard at the Gym quote of the day:

2008-05-23T09:25:00.002-07:00

Tall, ugly, awkward curly blonde haired girl #1 to tall, ugly, awkward curly blonde haired girl #2: '....ya i think I am going to switch it up, I am going to try going on Yaz'

Thanks for the info babe! Watch out dudes of the world, she is ready to get awkward all over your ass and not get pregnant.

Bruce Bowen is a Cock Munch

2008-05-23T09:13:00.000-07:00

Ya that's right I said cock munch. I can not explain how much hate I have for this man. The rest of the NBA feels the same way. He has no basketball skill but has made it as a dirty, intense defender who always tries to hurt other players. He always slides a leg under players when they are shooting in hopes they will come down and sprain an ankle. He is just an ass and is one of the things that sucks about basketball now, along with all the damn Europeans flopping like this is the World Cup. The Spurs are just a dirty team, as we saw last year when Nash got thrown into the scorer's table by Robert Horry. My favorite story about how the league hates Bowen as much as me comes from Bill Simmons website, a story posted by one of his readers:

Speaking of Bowen, Mike in New York passed this story along: "I was in Vegas for a bachelor party last August during the week of the U.S. vs. Puerto Rico exhibition game. We all stayed at the Wynn where almost every basketball player was staying and learned three things: Dwyane Wade really takes care of his dad financially; Clyde Drexler is the coolest guy to play the minimum at the $25 blackjack table; nobody likes Bruce Bowen. Late one night, almost every blackjack table had multiple current or retired NBA players at them and huge crowds to go along with them. That is, except for the table with Bruce Bowen and only Bruce Bowen playing at it. All Bruce's teammates on the USA team were his regular NBA opponents and it was clear that none of them wanted anything to do with him."

As more evidence, another Bruce Bowen being a Cock Munch video:

What the crap?

2008-05-22T09:23:00.000-07:00

You dont't have to watch all of this, just enough to be confused.

Letterman had Ali Lohan on 2 nights ago. I didn't know there was an ALi Lohan, but as you can see from the video, I think she is the new thing I fear the most in the world. She's 14?? She looks and sounds like she's 45. Those 14 years must have been rough. I thought this was a prank for the first 5 minutes of the interview. I thought there is no Ali Lohan and that Letterman was doing a fake celebrity sibiling thing ala Conan O'Brien. If you were doing this as a joke, it would make sense to say Lindsay Lohan has a 14 year old sister who looks 45, has a raspy voice and is probably cracked out. But no, she is a real person and Oh my God, she wants to ba a singer! Didn't see that coming. I am sure her future is bright, how could it not be. Oddly enough, last night Letterman had Kristen Davis on promoting her obnoxious Sex and the City movie and she looks just like Ali Lohan. At this rate Lohan is going to look like an old work boot by the time she is old enought to vote.

I think I like soccer...

2008-05-21T08:49:00.000-07:00

#1 Reason to watch......Attack of the Show

2008-05-20T09:39:00.000-07:00

Attack of the Show? Ya it's a real thing. It's on G4 (aso a real thing) and might be hard to find on the remote but it is well worth it. It is a funny show that fulfills my love of nerd stuff and it has the Munn-ster, Olivia Munn. She is the perfect fit for a nerd show. Funny, sexy and dorky. I love her and I am only 25% nerd (my grandpa was from Nerd). She is one of the guys and you may have noticed her in the baby fight video post before. I have to dedicate this one to JT Rocket Fuel, as he suggested her today and also let me know that things have heated up in their pretend relationship that Olivia doesn't know about. It seems they are going pretend steady and working on pretend enganged; upgrade!

Baby Fight!

2008-05-20T09:10:00.000-07:00

This was sent by JT Rocket Fuel. It proves the point that if babies or bears doing anything they don't normally do, it is hilarious.

#1 Reason to watch.....Waiting

2008-05-19T13:44:00.000-07:00

This is a really good movie. Start to finish, its funny, true to life and a movie that really gets 'it'. I worked retail for way too long and this movie captures that world perfectly. I would love this movie without the latest love of my life in it but she makes it better. Kaitlin Doubleday is her name, she hasn't been in too many things but she's gorgeous and her and I are playing the old game of 'We're dating and she doesn't know it'. I always win. If picking out really cute/hot chicks who aren't super famous and have small roles in TV/Movies was a job...then....well... I'd have a job.

This was the one that started it all

2008-05-19T13:11:00.000-07:00

Syracuse's Jim Boeheim and Alf's Max Wright. Cheez Whiz and I like to do the Alf's dad voice anytime we watch a 'Cuse game. They always said the relationship Gerry McNamara and Boeheim had was much the same as the relationship between Max Wright and Alf.

Side note in all this, google Alf's dad and you get a bunch of hits about a homosexual drug orgy Max Wright had back in 2005. I'm just sayin'.

Do you want to know the terrifying truth, or do you want to see me sock a few dingers?

2008-05-19T12:19:00.000-07:00

So as per usual, I got suckered into being late for something because I stuck around watching a game that in reality I knew the outcome of but a little hope was still there. Maybe they will hit the big 3 and get the stop on defense. No. Didn't happen but I stayed until the clock read 0.00 and left way to late for, guess what, the Yankee game in which it took forever to park and they got shalakced. But I did get the opportunity to sit in the upper deck next to the largest man to ever wear pants. Dude was too wide for the seat and was just resting himself on the arm rests while parts of him spilled over the side of the seat. I hate the Celtics. I guess I am stuck rooting for a Lakers/Celtics final since it is for the 'good' of the league and all the assholes who have neglected basketball since Jordan left will pay attention in the future. Maybe if Chris Paul takes somes steriods and starts hitting dingers on the ball field, America will give him more respect. Well that got intense, huh?

How is Paul Pierce good? He plays like the best 50 year old dude at the Y. But he some how lulls defenders to sleep, scores, and defends despite barely really moving. And where the hell did Ray Allen go. He disappeared this series, that could be a problem in the future. He came in the league in a jam packed draft with amazing players. He's the same age as Iverson, 32, a year younger than Nash, and only 2 years older than Kobe and Jermaine O'Neal, but he seems to be almost done with his career and treated as such. Cavs Supporting cast is a bunch of clowns by the way. Lebron must sceam into a pillow by himself to release the frustration and anger of having to work with that cast.

And I am killing it with trashing a team and then watching them win that night. I am the ultimate jinx, the opposite has been true every time so far. That's why I have no comments on tonights game till tomorrow. And also why I want to take this opportunity to say I hope Hillary Clinton doesn't spontaneously combust. I so don't want that.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead

2008-05-16T09:54:00.000-07:00

So I am sitting here watching 'Bobby', the Emilio Estevez directed movie about RFK's murder. I figured anyone involved in 'Mighty Ducks' would only bring the best for me. Movie is ok, nothing great but I stumbled upon this young lady and fell in love. I can't say she is the #1 reason to watch Bobby, she is only in the movie for about a second and there are many other things she has been in that she gets more screen time. But that few seconds she was on screen was all I needed. She re-defines the cute/hot category of girl that I strive to meet in life. I don't even need to post pictures of her dressed like a slut, her face is all you need. I want to give her face money from my wallet to thank it for just being.

Extra Mustard

2008-05-13T13:43:00.000-07:00

Thanks to JT Rocket Fuel for this link. Its a site from SI.com and has some great stuff, such as the videos below. One is of one of the rarest things in sports, a triple play, and the other exploits stupid people. What more do you need?

Asdrubal Cabrera Turns Unassisted Triple Play
by Machochip

Local news mishaps

2008-05-13T09:26:00.000-07:00

This is thanks to Cheez Whiz. I love when these people fuck up, it makes it worth while to watch the news. Anything you find, send it on over to me and I can post and rant about, thats the kind of community I am looking to build here; ranting, its what seperates us from the animals. Cheez Whiz, thanks, keep on keeping on.